Screaming
by Rory J. Evans
Summary: Remus tries to cope with Sirius's death when he is left with only memories. RLSB ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Wish I did, but sadly. No.

Screaming

Remus shut his eyes forcefully, the tears threatening to slip past the tiny crack between his lids and pool in the wells of his eyes. His hands clenched the sheets beneath him, black silk. He almost laughed at the memory of Sirius standing in the doorway with the slippery bundle in his arms claiming that he had bought them because of his sensitive skin. Remus looked up from his crumpled position on the bed as if he expected Sirius to walk through the door that second with that silly grin on his face just begging to be asked "Sirius, what did you do now?"

Remus let out a dry sob, too sore to scream anymore, but with no other way to vent his pain. It was close to the full moon and the wolf inside of him desperately wanted to claw out so that he could rip the room to shreds. With no Sirius there to calm him down, that was a very real possibility.

Sirius always had the power to make him scream.

In third year when Remus woke to find his hair had been turned pink, and was to remain that way for nearly a week, he couldn't help but scream his frustration at Sirius. No doubt it had been his doing and the fact that the dark haired boy was trying desperately to hide his giggles wasn't helping his case. Remus remembered running down to the Great Hall only to watch the entire school burst into fits of laughter at a disheveled Remus Lupin with bright pink hair. Sirius, of course, had claimed innocence until Remus had decided that he would retaliate with a curse of his own. Sirius Black had cat ears and an affinity for raw fish for the rest of the week.

_Oh God, Sirius_, Remus choked, the memories flooding back to him as if from a pensieve.

He could see himself and Sirius running side by side under the moonlight, dog and wolf, and for the first time since he had been turned to a werewolf, he let out a happy howl. He remembered Sirius do the same next to him as they barreled down the Forbidden Forest together. His strides matched the other's, their paws kicking up leaves and mud that would inevitably cling to their skin and hair in the morning. When they dropped down after the run in some field, Remus carefully placed his head on the heaving dog's shoulders. He could sense Sirius grin and he let out another howl, deep and clear, one that traveled straight through the forest. The wolf had found his mate.

Then, a year after that when Sirius did something as stupid as tell Snape to come to the Willow, he had screamed. This time in anger.

_Sirius! How could you? Didn't you think? Do you know what could have happened? _He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Sirius was in front of him, poised to run.

_Remus. Moony. I'm sorry. I didn't think-_ He said, pained and he reached out a hopeful hand to Remus.

_That's right. You didn't think. Merlin, Sirius. Could you be any stupider? _Remus said bitterly.Sirius smiled at him, hoping to lighten the mood with his grin.

_Look, just don't talk to me now. _Remus said, eyes downcast, and he walked away leaving a guilty Sirius to deal with himself.

He had forgiven him, of course. Sirius was not exactly the easiest person to be mad at.

In seventh year, he had screamed for entirely different reasons. He arched himself into Sirius desperately trying to keep his moans quiet before he realized that a simple silencing charm would leave them to make whatever sounds they wanted, uninhibited. The wolf in him took over and Sirius was in front of him, eyes half-clouded, muttering his name over and over. His nails dug into the other's back, their sweat rolling down their necks. He wound his hair into Padfoot's - no, _his _Padfoot's - hair and tugged him down until their lips crashed together, moans and sighs mingling. They came together, Remus throwing his head onto Padfoot's shoulder.

_I love you, Moony. _He whispered into his ear and for years he would say that to Remus whenever he got the chance - in class, at home, work, the forest, with James and Peter - if only to watch the delicious shivers that those four words elicited.

Remus's throat was hoarse. Even dead, Sirius had to power to make him howl and rage in a cacophony of emotions that were all too painful to bear. He moaned.

_Sirius, come back._

The agony of being in the same bed that he and Sirius shared was too much. He inhaled the fading scent of his lover from the silk sheets, and tried to clutch them as close as he could to his body. He willed himself to remember the scent, catalog it somewhere deep in his brain to bring out when it became too much to bear. It was so inherently Sirius, a mixture of dog and sweat and rain.

Remus closed his eyes, wishing the full moon to come. At least then his thoughts would turn animalistic and incoherent, the way he desperately needed them to be now. His eyes closed and he buried his head into the sheets.

"I love you too, Sirius."


End file.
